Title: Perfect Timing
Author: Jeffery J. Smith
ISBN: 978-1-62420-321-3
Genre: Sci-fi
Excerpt Heat Level: 1
Book Heat Level: 1
TAGLINE
Accidentally sucked from the present, caterer
Crik must prove he started the trend that led to the future’s utopia—or be
returned to waiting bullets.
BLURB
Accidentally transported to the future,
caterer Crik escapes house-arrest with Tepper, his possible distant descendant.
While pursued by volunteer vigilante Voltak, goofball Crik explores
Geotopia—where buildings grow, people incorporate animal powers, smart phones
know it all, and vehicles defy gravity—seeking clues. If he can discover,
understand, and articulate the future’s public policy that works right for
everybody, he can prove he was their founder, the lone agent of change who put
society on its path toward universal prosperity and harmony with nature. If he
fails to convince the Futurite Authorities, they wouldn’t return their
unexpected visitor to the exact second he left—something their law requires—to
the moment when a hail of gunfire was bearing down on the luckless caterer and
college dropout...would they?
EXCERPT
The image of a
bellhop perches first on one leg then the other by the edge of a roof of a
downtown skyscraper. Gazing downward, with both hands he raises a golf club
over his head. The scene occurs on a large monitor.
Far below, the people
look like a school of minnows flitting across the downtown central plaza.
Others resemble tufts of beach grass clumped around street performers break
dancing or juggling. The bellhop arches his back.
In a darkened
laboratory, two wide-eyed technicians wearing white coats watch the monitor. In
grainy color, the young man bends and stretches. Mouths agape, the viewers take
notes and wipe their brows.
"This is your
candidate?" the taller researcher says. "This golfer? Crik
Duvall?"
The shorter one nods.
"He's a bellhop, too."
~
* ~
1
At the wall atop the
city's tallest hotel, Crik in the hotel's uniform lowers his club. The height
does not frighten him, rather, the view always intrigues him. People sure look
little, Crik thinks. Must be how landlords see us.
Crik takes a few
practice swings. He steps back from the edge and tees up. He drives a Whiffle
golf ball into the air without a hitch. The headwind blows the hollow ball back
to him. He catches it. Yes! He replaces the plastic ball on the tee — yo-yo
golf.
Lifting his bellhop
cap, Crik runs his fingers through bleached streaks. Yo-yo golf will challenge
enthusiasts of all nations, even become an Olympic event. I could pay down my
tuition. Even help Randy with his debt. How dumb, messing with dudes from the
vodka importers convention. What'd he know about ostrich racing anyway?
Crik's knuckles are
tattooed with esoteric symbols. A stud twinkles in one ear but no weighty
choker worries his swing. He's up to twenty-three straight successful
drives-then-catches, closing in on his personal best.
The word
"Fore!" rings out from a phone in his pocket, but he ignores it.
Steadying himself,
Crik cocks his club for another swing and drives the white ball into the
onrushing breeze.
"Crik!"
Crik blinks. The
plastic dot sails past him, into the void. Zippers.
"Whenever you
don't answer your phone, I know where to find you."
Crik looks over his
shoulder, resting the club on his other one.
Randy lets the door
close behind him. "My man, break be over." Also a bellhop, Randy has
his cap is on backwards. As he crosses the roof, his body lags behind his head,
his neck nearly level.
Like offering his
empty melon to a guillotine, poor sucker. Crik takes out a twenty-dollar bill.
"Another big date before next payday, bro?"
"Man, you are
like family." Randy takes the note.
~
* ~
"'Crik'. That
short for cricket?" People always ask.
No, Crik was named
Crik because Brook was already taken; his older brother got named that.
"Oh, I get
it," the hotel manager said when interviewing Crik, "Creek."
Crik nodded. His hair
waved, didn't curl, despite him being the black sheep of the family.
"Yeah, Crik."
Crik is too busy to
finish college. How many decades would it take to pay off the student loan — a
necklace of stone — anyway? Especially with good friends unable to budget
themselves. Better to have a fun job. Make money and enjoy life.
~
* ~
In the gloomy
laboratory, tall Dr. Alvin Ultra and his short assistant Yuri Ivanov, both
middle-aged, emit gasps and wag their heads, jotting down notes.
The monitor, thin as
a sheet, hangs from a ceiling in a high corner. It's cabled to a device shaped
like an oversized dog biscuit with a sharp point like a syringe, big as a sled,
some parts shiny, some opaque. Colored wires twist and run to other odd-shaped
devices that whir and jerk.
Crik hides his club
on the ledge beyond the perimeter wall.
Dr. Ultra glances at
Yuri. "Neither of these two has indicated any interest in social
evolution, never mind founding an entirely new way of viewing the world."
Under his beret and
bushy eyebrows, Yuri shrugs. "Destinon said to check out this
moment."
~
* ~
The two bellhops
enter the hotel's darkened conference hall. It's packed like a tent revival on
the eve of the Second Coming. Of course. Who hates money?
Strains of Wagner's
majestic movements accompany the big-screen video of unabashed luxury: Acres of
vineyards remind Crik of the south of France where he'd backpacked one summer.
A sleek car barely looking street-legal swerves through hills.
"Tesla
Roadster," Crik whispers to Randy. "0 to 60 in 3.7."
On the screen, a
limousine grand enough for comfortably hosting small celebrations sits in the
driveway of a mansion with the long lines of Frank Lloyd Wright draped over a
seaside cliff. Inside, fashion models adorned with jewelry befriend vain hosts
sipping champagne. Famous paintings hang on the walls.
Crik leans over to
his pal. "I've a print of that Van Gogh."
"With his
autograph?" Randy whispers.
Crik frowns.
"Ethics teaches us virtue is its own reward."
Randy frowns.
"Economics teaches that reward is its own virtue."
My reward would be to
never get another bill, late notice, or harassing phone call.
A sharp-dressed
salesman in a flawless Armani suit strides onstage. His shiny hair neatly
styled, Julian Seizure keeps his posture erect and full-chested, as would a
cocksure general before his troops. His blistering smile stretches his
narrow-featured face.
Seizure fires his
words forcefully and pounds the air with a fist, keeping time with his avarice.
"Andrew Carnegie, a billionaire back when a dime bought you a complete
breakfast, noted, and I quote: 'It takes hard work to amass a fortune in
industry, but any fool can get rich in real estate.'"
Perking up, Randy
whispers to Crik, "Did he say any fool?" His eyebrows bounce up and
down.
The big screen shows
slender beauties gliding in Olympic-size pools and robust businessmen driving
golf balls a mile down the links. The pitchman exhales. "The old boy
nailed it. Nothing else comes close to how much people pay over the course of
their lives for a place to live. Directly or indirectly, a big part of
everyone's spending goes to a lease or mortgage."
The sea of heads nod
in assent. The speaker opens his hands in empathy. "Since all of us have
been foolish at least once …"
Amid the sea of
heads, only Randy bobs agreeably — until he sees nobody else owning up and
slinks lower into his seat.
"Why are we not
all very well off?" The instant-riches guru taps his skull.
"Foresight." Seizure stares down his audience. "It's not speculation
when you see what's coming."
Crik snorts. Too good
to be true. "Why can't telling the unvarnished truth work to sell?"
"I
believe!" Randy says.
"Time to go,
bro." Crik tugs his friend's sleeve. "I've a better idea. You think
Seizure plays golf?"
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